Ever since Anchorman’s Brick Tamland said to Veronica Corningstone, “I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party,” “party” as we know it was forever changed.
Whether it’s a wedding, a raging kegger, or a party in ones pants, a party is the social forum of choice for the majority of the non-hermit/non-sociopath portion of the world.
However, along with parties (yes, even the most raucous of them) comes a code of ethics by which “party-cipants” are expected to abide. Failure to do so can (and likely will) result in the ever-frowned upon “party foul.” I’m neither a social psychologist nor a writer for Cosmopolitan’s advice column, but I can spot a party foul faster than Phil Robertson can spot a duck during duck huntin’ season (usually because I’m the sober, bright-eyed party-goer that gets to sit back and watch the chaos ensue). Here are the top 3 PFs to avoid at all costs:
1. The wastey-faced party-cipant: Often seen loitering around the barrel of Jungle Juice, this individual speaks in cursive, toddles like Happy Feet, and will likely make a string of bad decisions long enough to outlast a roll of toilet paper. To prevent yourself from being this person, know your limits. Feel free to indulge until your cup runneth over, but for the love of cupcakes, hold yourself together.
2. The empty-handed party-cipant: Shows up to the party expecting free food/drinks, brings nothing to the table. If your momma never told you it’s polite to bring something to a party or gathering, then your momma failed you. If you are invited to a party, you MUST bring something. A couple beers, some cookies, a
tchotchke a small token of your appreciation– whatever. Extra points for putting a little thought into it. This applies to everything from tailgates to black tie affairs.
3. The passive-aggressive (or active-aggressive) party-cipant: This is self-explanatory. Leave the drama at home and check your insecurity at the door.
D.B.A.A., you party animal, you.
Party Animal Ice Cream
- 2 cups heavy cream, divided
- 1 cup half & half
- 2/3 cup sugar
- Pinch of salt
- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- 1 1/4 cups Frosted Animal Cookies, pulverized
- 2 Tablespoons rainbow sprinkles
- 4-5 drops red food coloring
- Waffle cone of choice (I don't have a waffle cone iron, so I just purchased generic waffle cones at my local grocery store)
- 4 ounces vanilla almond bark
- 1 Tablespoon dry white cake mix (I used Betty Crocker)
- 1/2 cup rainbow sprinkles
- Combine 1 cup of cream with sugar and salt in a medium-sized saucepan
- Heat over medium-high heat, stirring until the sugar is fully dissolved
- Remove saucepan from heat and stir in remaining cup of cream, half & half, vanilla extract, and red food coloring
- Cover and refrigerate for at least 3 hours
- Freeze in an ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions
- While ice cream is churning, use a food processor to pulverize Circus Animal Cookies
- About 5 minutes before churning cycle is complete, add pulverized cookies and rainbow sprinkles to the ice cream
- Once fully churned, store ice cream in an air-tight container in the freezer for at least 3 hours to allow for hardening
- While ice cream is hardening in the freezer, place almond bark in a small microwave-safe bowl and microwave at 30 second intervals until melted, stirring in between each
- Add dry cake mix to melted almond bark, stirring until no clumps exist
- Pour rainbow sprinkles into a small shallow bowl
- Dip tops of waffle cones in melted almond bark mixture, then quickly dip in sprinkles until coated
- Hold dipped waffle cones upright for about a minute, then allow to dry on a sheet of parchment paper
Looking for an additional use for that bag of Frosted Animal Cookies? Try these no-bake Party Animal Truffles!